So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I look better un-naked...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
