whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
