just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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