i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
