not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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