I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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