When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
