You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
