Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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