girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
