But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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