The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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