Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
