I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
