So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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