We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
