Yo dont text me then not text me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
