im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
