just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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