White coat. Heels.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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