69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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