I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
