I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize