you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
