ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
