im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
