After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize