Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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