I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize