There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Couch. On fire.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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