yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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