found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
