My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
