I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
