Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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