ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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