He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
