we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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