His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
