fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
