Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
