Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
