The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
