Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
