I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize