you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
