If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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