If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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