Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
