I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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