Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize