omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
