Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
