Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize