You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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