youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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