I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
