He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
