she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
