why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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