go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
