life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
