batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
