I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
