belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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